i’ve had to wrap up this project here because of time, but I want you to know I didn’t give up until it became physically impossible for me to add some of the other features i wanted (flavourtown ends in 15 minutes as I write). For this addition I only got up and down arrow key functionality to copy previous commands, making the dial knobs actually turn, a help command and really cleaning up the terrible pulse code. I did I had big plans for this project (and all my others), great expectations, if you will (call me pip because I blew it). I never got to the real meat of what I was trying to simulate, that being the gravity itself, so thats a shame (in my opinion its all because of my adhd and obviously not my fault), but if anyone likes time dilation (no not like from interstellar this is different) then this might be cool I guess. I’ll come back to this project later, even if there are no cookies to earn, for love of the game, as they say. I’m not sure if you can tell but i’m actually being serious in a devlog for once, i’m really quite disappointed i didn’t finish my projects in time, especially after my copious spreadsheets which seemed to indicate that it would be done with a trivial couple hours a day (turns out that’s impossible), there was that time i had a brief stint getting banned for being 19, but that doesn’t really hold up as an excuse since it wasn’t long. Oh well, maybe the real quest 3 was the friends we made along the way (there was a guy who made a comment on one of my other posts once (i didn’t get a reply though (i have clearly lost it)))
guys i can’t do this anymore, not like this. i’m so exhausted. it’s half five am and i’ve been working on these projects from morning past midnight for the past three days. the sky is bright, I hear the bird chirping. sometimes it feels like no matter how much time i have, and how much i plan things out, i always end up having to do things like this just to scrape by. the real hard work i do then feels overshadowed by the constant pressure that i’m simply trying to make up for my failures, and the knowledge that it’s my own fault that i’m in this entirely voluntary situation is only something that makes it more ridiculous. i mean, i chose to do this, i could have just given up a while ago, no one cares lol, but something just doesn’t let me stop when i’ve come so far already, even if i don’t reach my goal. i just have to know that i really tried. the revolving door doesn’t slow down just because you’ve stumbled, but while others walk out to the other side, i sometimes feels like i’m just walking around and around, always trying to get back on my feet. sometimes the most damaging failure can be the failure to move on, and i feel i can convince anyone that i’m fine except for myself. the only reason i keep going is because i remember what it is i’m doing. to me, it’s art, in my own way. i don’t know whether or not i’m good enough for any standard, let alone my own, and i vacillate aggressively between thinking my work is a masterpiece and garbage. i don’t know whether or not i should have tried to work harder for a dumb programming project i said i’d do for fun, or if i shouldn’t make these severely rambling devlogs that have little to do with the actual development itself. but deep down i do understand that it doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t have to get the most cookies. it just has to be what it already is, something i made. something i dreamt of, something i saw in my head. it’s something i typed out and turned into reality, and at the end of the day, to me, i suppose everything else is just relative.